Thursday, July 22, 2010

Nobody Knows It But Me

I was gonna come on here and write about how I've been feeling lately. But then I was driving in my car the other day and this song came on... a song I know very well but hadn't thought about in a long time (I haven't heard it in ages). Since it basically says exactly how I feel, I'll let the song do the talking.



Here are the lyrics in case you'd like to be able to follow along... I put the text in bold that really seems to fit my mood lately.



Nobody Knows It But Me

I pretend that I'm glad you went away
but these four walls close in more every day
And I'm dyin' inside
And nobody knows it but me


Like a clown I put on a show
The pain is real, even if nobody knows
And I'm cryin' inside
And nobody knows it but me


Why didn't I say
The things I needed to say
How could I let my angel get away
Now my world is just a tumblin' down
I can see it so clearly
But you're nowhere around

The nights are lonely, the days are so sad and
I just keep thinkin' about the love that we had
And I'm missin' you
And nobody knows it but me


(hmm...no one knows)

How blue can I get, you could ask my heart
Just like a jigsaw puzzle it's been torn all apart

A million words couldn't say
Just how I feel
A million years from now you know
I'll be lovin' you still


The nights are lonely, the days are so sad and
I just keep thinkin' about the love that we had
And I'm missing you
And nobody knows it but me


(nobody)

Nights are lonely, the days are so sad
(No one knows)
And I just keep thinkin' about the love that we had
(Nobody knows)
And I'm missing you and nobody knows it but me

The nights are lonely, the days are so sad and
And I just keep thinkin' about the love that we had
And I'm missing you and nobody knows it but me

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Wow!!

So it's officially less than 3 months until my due date... it hit me like a ton of bricks yesterday. My boy doesn't have a crib or toys. He doesn't have much that is "his". But I know the baby shower might change that. I really, really hope so anyway!

My sister got on ebay last night and made 2 bids and won them both! So she spent $15 plus shipping, and now the baby has over 50 new clothing items. That will be more than enough to get us through the first 3 months or so. I'm getting really excited but at the same time I'm still terribly nervous too. I don't know what the hell I'm doing... or what to expect... I don't want to do anything wrong... but I will learn I am sure.

My puppy boy turned 2. In just a few weeks we will be celebrating his adoption birthday :)

I am still actively looking for a new job and turning in applications all the time. I have discovered that even if I can only find a minimum wage job, if it is full time, I can pay rent and all my bills. So I'm at a point now where I will literally take ANYTHING. I need to apply at Wal Mart... that would benefit me because I'd get all my bills paid and then get a discount on my groceries and stuff I buy in the store. But there's a place I applied at called Easter Seals and I REALLY want to get in there. But they told me not to call about the job when I turned in my application. Hopefully, I will hear something SOON. I think I can work out daycare and all that if I have to, cause there's assistance programs, and my family will take care of him too. So I do think I can handle this. I just want to make sure my hours are EARLY so I still feel like I have all day and night with my son. Like 6-2 or 7-3 M-F would be cool :) But we'll see.

I go to the doctor's office tomorrow to check for gestational diabetes. Will said he'd let me know today whether or not he can come. They do that test on everyone now, they're not doing it because they think I might have it or anything. Just have to fast and then drink some yucky stuff (I've been told it tastes like VERY sweet pop) and that should be that. Don't think it'll take long but I never know.

Anyway, it's Sunday, so I work at the church nursery today. Need to leave in about a half an hour so I'm gonna sign off of here and get my hair done. Later!